So I met the biggest asshole ever tonight.  I met my friends at Columns for a couple drinks and a girl came up and talked to us.  Honestly, she was a little cute, but not too much.  Although she was the youngest cute person in the bar on a Wedsday night — whatever that means.  We were just hanging out and being nice.  This guy sat next to her and grabbed her and we didn’t really even notice.  A few minutes later she started talking to us and he said “don’t talk to them” and pulled her away from us.  At this point, I shared with my friends that I know a lot of assholes, but he has amazingly moved towards the top of the list.  Note that never during this night did I ever meet him, as he wasn’t interested in such things.

My friends and I had our own conversation for a while and didn’t really notice them.  Then they got up and started moving away from the bar.  She stuck around for a little bit and we said goodbye, nice to meet you, etc.  I guess they only moved away from the bar because he was threatened by other guys.  He then came back and singled me out saying, “Let me give you some advice as a guy.  Don’t try to pick up a girl who’s making out with another guy.”  I started laughing.  Everyone around me was trying to contain themselves, including the waitress who stopped serving drinks.  Then Pete, who I had just met that night, started quizzing the guy about his ‘relationship’.  He asked if he was dating her – no.  If he came here with her – no. If he knew her – yes, he was protecting her for her boyfriend.  Rockstar! The girl behind the bar lost it. Apparently the guy on the other side of them from before had overheard some of his conversation which consisted of him telling her that she had small tits so she should flaunt them more.  He was a winner.

I’ve had a lot of memorable nights at columns.  In fact, too many.  I love New Orleans, but who invited {insert suburb name} to the columns?